He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
