did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
