on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
