Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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