You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
