Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
