wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize