In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
