Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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