What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
