we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
