im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
