It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize