Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
