I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
