maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
