Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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