Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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