she woke up with a sticky ear
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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