I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let's get the cat blown out
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
