Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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