i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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