you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
