Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
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