why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
