ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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