Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize