I CAN MOONWALK!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
