Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
