God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
