The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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