Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
