he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
