in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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