You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize