His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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