that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i dont even know how to be here
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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