have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
