Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
