Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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