all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
