Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
