too bad you live with your parents still
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
