but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
