It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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