Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
