So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I enjoy the company of your penis
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