coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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