yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Randomize
