Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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