Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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