dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it hurts more in the daytime
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Shame - the story of my life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
