I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
