you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
