They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
