So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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