I want to walk on stilts...naked
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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