I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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