My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
false alarm, still single
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
