I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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