True but thats because hes a fetus.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
