how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
