I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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