That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
