Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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