Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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