I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
