What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize