I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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